Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
