some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
