TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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