first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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