then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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