Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
No I am not eating basil off your cock
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
