WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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