I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
and you fell through a lawn chair
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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