Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
