he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
