his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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