they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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