Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
well you can't waste a boner
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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