Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
it was like eating out sand paper
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
