you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
