okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
