Three words: puerto rican gang bang
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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