he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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