Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
