I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
