I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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