got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
