Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
