Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
we made out on top of his cat.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
