His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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