Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
