what day is it and did you see me today?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
