She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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