Betty ford says i'm here all night
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
