just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
My liver just had a heart attack.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
