I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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