i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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