Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I'm always down for nudity.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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