Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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