2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Randomize
