Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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