oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
