your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
