guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
