Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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