WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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