At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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