yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
