At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
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