Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
my liver is dry heaving
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
