I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
being pregnant is like rehab
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
