my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
