yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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