We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
