you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
be right there i have to get my cape
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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