quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
