EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
