I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
